A Day In The Life...chill as long as you like.

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Conventional Instruments

Michael: Why are you playing a child’s guitar?

Bobby: This is not a child’s guitar, man — it’s a uke.

Michael: A what?

Bobby: A ukulele. 

Michael: Isn’t that what the scary fucking dude played in Deliverance?

Bobby: No, dude, that was a banjo. I have one of those, too, though.

Michael: What happened to your Fender?

Bobby: I still got it. I just, I dunno, I was getting sick and tired of being one of the 500 million dudes in the ‘burg who plays the fucking guitar. I mean, have you ever noticed that? Like, every guy in this whole God-forsaken neighborhood plays the six-string. I was talking to this girl at Larry Lawrence last night, and she was telling me how girls, like, judge dudes based on what instrument they play.

Michael: Seriously? Like, how?

Bobby: Well, apparently drummers are like fucking spazzes — ADD as hell — keyboard players are just freaking Kryptonite, bassists are mysterious and shit, and lead singers slash guitarists are preening, narcissistic assholes. So… you know… I don’t wanna be a spaz or an untouchable or be perceived as some kind of asshole. It would be cool to be mysterious, but — let’s face it — no one gives a shit about the bassist.

Michael: So what does playing the uke say about you?

Bobby: I’m quirky… and unique…

Michael: OK…

Bobby: Like, no one plays the freaking uke. I’m like this beacon of novelty in a wretched sea of cliched musical mundanity. 

Michael: Wait… doesn’t that chick Micachu play the ukulele sometimes? I saw her with one of them tiny guitars when she played Bruar Falls’ one-year anniversary shin-dig.

Bobby: Yeah, I guess…

Michael: And I’m pretty sure one of those guys in Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros rocks one, too.

Bobby: Well, sure.

Michael: And those dudes had one of their jams in a fucking Kin commercial.

Bobby: Yeah, I guess, whatever.

Michael: So, like, isn’t it kind of a thing now — to play the “uke”?

Bobby: Shut the fuck up, Michael. You still listen to fucking Death Cab for Cutie. What do you know?

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