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stuffhipstershate:

Conventional Instruments
Michael: Why are you playing a child’s guitar?
Bobby: This is not a child’s guitar, man — it’s a uke.
Michael: A what?
Bobby: A ukulele. 
Michael: Isn’t that what the scary fucking dude played in Deliverance?
Bobby: No, dude, that was a banjo. I have one of those, too, though.
Michael: What happened to your Fender?
Bobby: I still got it. I just, I dunno, I was getting sick and tired of being one of the 500 million dudes in the ‘burg who plays the fucking guitar. I mean, have you ever noticed that? Like, every guy in this whole God-forsaken neighborhood plays the six-string. I was talking to this girl at Larry Lawrence last night, and she was telling me how girls, like, judge dudes based on what instrument they play.
Michael: Seriously? Like, how?
Bobby: Well, apparently drummers are like fucking spazzes — ADD as hell — keyboard players are just freaking Kryptonite, bassists are mysterious and shit, and lead singers slash guitarists are preening, narcissistic assholes. So… you know… I don’t wanna be a spaz or an untouchable or be perceived as some kind of asshole. It would be cool to be mysterious, but — let’s face it — no one gives a shit about the bassist.
Michael: So what does playing the uke say about you?
Bobby: I’m quirky… and unique…
Michael: OK…
Bobby: Like, no one plays the freaking uke. I’m like this beacon of novelty in a wretched sea of cliched musical mundanity. 
Michael: Wait… doesn’t that chick Micachu play the ukulele sometimes? I saw her with one of them tiny guitars when she played Bruar Falls’ one-year anniversary shin-dig.
Bobby: Yeah, I guess…
Michael: And I’m pretty sure one of those guys in Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros rocks one, too.
Bobby: Well, sure.
Michael: And those dudes had one of their jams in a fucking Kin commercial.
Bobby: Yeah, I guess, whatever.
Michael: So, like, isn’t it kind of a thing now — to play the “uke”?
Bobby: Shut the fuck up, Michael. You still listen to fucking Death Cab for Cutie. What do you know?
(Photo)

stuffhipstershate:

Conventional Instruments

Michael: Why are you playing a child’s guitar?

Bobby: This is not a child’s guitar, man — it’s a uke.

Michael: A what?

Bobby: A ukulele. 

Michael: Isn’t that what the scary fucking dude played in Deliverance?

Bobby: No, dude, that was a banjo. I have one of those, too, though.

Michael: What happened to your Fender?

Bobby: I still got it. I just, I dunno, I was getting sick and tired of being one of the 500 million dudes in the ‘burg who plays the fucking guitar. I mean, have you ever noticed that? Like, every guy in this whole God-forsaken neighborhood plays the six-string. I was talking to this girl at Larry Lawrence last night, and she was telling me how girls, like, judge dudes based on what instrument they play.

Michael: Seriously? Like, how?

Bobby: Well, apparently drummers are like fucking spazzes — ADD as hell — keyboard players are just freaking Kryptonite, bassists are mysterious and shit, and lead singers slash guitarists are preening, narcissistic assholes. So… you know… I don’t wanna be a spaz or an untouchable or be perceived as some kind of asshole. It would be cool to be mysterious, but — let’s face it — no one gives a shit about the bassist.

Michael: So what does playing the uke say about you?

Bobby: I’m quirky… and unique…

Michael: OK…

Bobby: Like, no one plays the freaking uke. I’m like this beacon of novelty in a wretched sea of cliched musical mundanity. 

Michael: Wait… doesn’t that chick Micachu play the ukulele sometimes? I saw her with one of them tiny guitars when she played Bruar Falls’ one-year anniversary shin-dig.

Bobby: Yeah, I guess…

Michael: And I’m pretty sure one of those guys in Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros rocks one, too.

Bobby: Well, sure.

Michael: And those dudes had one of their jams in a fucking Kin commercial.

Bobby: Yeah, I guess, whatever.

Michael: So, like, isn’t it kind of a thing now — to play the “uke”?

Bobby: Shut the fuck up, Michael. You still listen to fucking Death Cab for Cutie. What do you know?

(Photo)

167 notes
  1. pamellama reblogged this from stuffhipstershate and added:
    SO true, besides
  2. bonvintage reblogged this from stuffhipstershate and added:
    right now, not even kidding.
  3. fabooshka reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  4. wearnocrowns reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  5. aprilannemarie reblogged this from hearcolorseesound
  6. curlyface reblogged this from stuffhipstershate and added:
    so happy. haha language…. ehh....know its gonna happen
  7. jilleighh reblogged this from symphonydiginamichele and added:
    As a band geek I love this so much.
  8. misdirect reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  9. ixii reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  10. uphereforever reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  11. meltedcandy reblogged this from depechemoses
  12. kneekakneeka reblogged this from kimeriko
  13. kimeriko reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  14. jenniferlogan reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  15. whenshesings reblogged this from shoepastryheart
  16. anaychi reblogged this from stuffhipstershate
  17. thejcannon reblogged this from stuffhipstershate and added:
    kidding. Because it’s damn funny ;)
  18. dedaumier reblogged this from spiderwebsitar and added:
    ahahaha. also, FUCK YEAH, BASSISTS.
  19. symphonydiginamichele reblogged this from stuffhipstershate